One of the thing I find really interesting is
Commonly known as ‘Five stages of grief’. You might have heard about it from numerous sources be it TV series, movies or books. The original study says that when a person is faced with the reality of impending death or other extreme, awful fate, he or she will experience a series of emotional stages:
- Denial — “I feel fine.”; “This can’t be happening, not to me.”
- Anger — “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; ‘”Who is to blame?”
- Bargaining — “I’ll do anything for a few more years.”; “I will give my life savings if…”
- Depression — “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die soon so what’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?”
- Acceptance — “It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.”
Here is a picture of Dr. House telling Cameron about this
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to people suffering from terminal illness. However, it was later expanded to apply to any form of catastrophic personal loss such as the death of a loved one, major rejection, end of a relationship or divorce, drug addiction,incarceration, the onset of a disease or chronic illness, an infertility diagnosis, as well as many tragedies and disasters.
It really amazes me how accurately it predicts human behavior and response when I compare it with some of my personal experiences. One of my favorite application of this model is ‘Grieving a Break Up‘
Denial – The person left behind is unable to admit that the relationship is really over. They may continue to call the former partner when all that person wants is to be left alone.
Anger – When reality sets in that the relationship really is over, it is common to demand to know why they are breaking up. The partner left behind may feel as though they are being treated unfairly and it may cause them to become angry at people close to them who want only to help.
Bargaining – After the anger stage,the one left behind may plead with their former partner by promising that whatever caused the breakup will never happen again. Example: “I can change. Please give me a chance.”
Depression – Next the person might feel discouraged that his or her bargaining plea did not convince the former partner to stay. This may send the person into depression causing disruption to life functions such as sleeping, eating and even daily bowel movements.
Acceptance – Moving on from the situation and the person is the last stage. The partner left behind accepts that the relationship is over and begins to move forward with his or her life. She or He may not be completely over the situation but is weary of going back and forth, so much so that they can accept the separation as reality.